There they were, the proof in the pudding in the form of pancakes. I had to admit, they didn’t taste half bad. The Cocoa Puffs within them were a bit mushy, but the Fruity Pebbles added an interesting flavor. The most important piece of this, is I realized how selfish I had been.
I sat on the couch at my friend Nickeva’s house discussing things as friends often do. Her girls, free to be who they fully want to be, casually asked if they could make pancakes. “Sure”, without skipping a bit their mother responded.
Thought 1: How many times had my girls asked to be crafty in the kitchen and I shut them down without giving it a second thought?
They moved about the kitchen with ease, this wasn’t their first time making major moves in there. A 3rd grader and a kindergartner, real chefs in the kitchen as their mother continued to sit on the couch with me. Thankfully, they invited my girls to join in on making the masterpiece. There were laughs mixed in with directions. I saw them pull out the bag of Fruity Pebbles. What would they do with that? Aren’t they making pancakes?
Thought 2: Look how free they are to create without my input. How naturally creativity comes to kids when we allow them to explore and investigate.
While the pancakes cooked, I saw them pull out a plate, fill it with water and dish soap. Then came the straw.
Thought 3: That’s wasting dish soap!! My girls know better than to do that! Ugh! Why am I like that?
That visit blessed me more than I realized in that moment. My girls walked away inspired, with a feeling of accomplishment. The next morning, they were all about making breakfast! (Although I had to draw the line at cooking the bacon.) I reflected and realized how my unbalanced focus on money stifled my children’s creativity. How my need for control and order limited the opportunities they had to explore passions and investigate things that intrigue them.
This got me thinking about the students who enter our classrooms everyday. How many of them have been stifled at home and are desperate for a moment of creativity? How many of them crave to have a chance to investigate and explore? How are we contributing to the opportunity gap, by not allowing our children, our students to tap into their natural curiosity and innate abilities?
I’m certain if I were to inquire, Nickeva would tell me about the times she guided her daughters around the kitchen or how she sign them up for cooking classes. She would mention the various opportunities her girls have had prior to the pancakes on that Saturday. What does that mean for me? What does that mean for you? Time and repetition of opportunities. Guidance without majority of the control. Being the guide on the side. And I think the most important part is understanding this life is bigger than you and me. What are we doing with the time we have with our own kids, with our own students. What do we communicate to them when we limit their opportunities?
Great reflection. It’s amazing the unintended consequences of well-intentioned behaviors. (And I am right with you on the penny-pinching.) Becoming reflective and monitoring that is the only way I know to get better. And if you can make connections over pancakes, you’re probably further down the road than I am.
Thanks for reading John. It’s all a process for sure. I still have a long way to go.
I love every part of this, Jenise. Thank you for sharing!
Thanks for reading John!